Don't Dis My Ability- part 1
Helloooo readers! Late again, I know. Yesterday, I was so tired from my full week of work, I just could not bring myself to write anything. But I will get better at this posting consistently business, mind my word!
In today's blog post, I will talk about a challenge I have had to face in life. Some people call it a disease or an illness but it is in fact, neither, and so that is why I like calling it a challenge. This is something that I have not been the most comfortable sharing with the public. I have kept silent about it during my school years, elementary, high school and college, at dance and even now, at work. But now, I want to become an advocate for this, especially since I have had a best friend who had it and also, now that I am working with a child who is showing signs of having this particular challenge.
This particular challenge I have had to live with is autism. If you have seen my blog post titled "A little about me" you might remember that I mentioned I was diagnosed with autism at an early age and that I would talk more in depth about it later on. Well, I think the time to open up about it is now, and so I will wait no longer.
When I first arrived at my new home in Canada with my new family, my mom noticed something very different about me. She tells me stories of how I would not understand what she wanted from me, I had difficulty showing the right emotions at the right time and I would often throw myself to the ground in a tantrum for the simplest things asked of me and cry for what seemed an endless amount of time. I did not talk at all the first few months. At first, my parents thought I just needed time to settle in and that I would learn to adjust sooner or later on my own. Everything was new to me after all! The country, the household, the people and the environment. I was only a toddler, but I think I was probably quite overwhelmed with all these changes and understandably so. Who would not be after having to leave the family with whom you first grew up with?
Eventually, I did start to settle now and started talking, to my parents delight, around the age of four which was earlier than they expected. In a home video of when my brother and I were little, it is Christmas day and I am sitting in a green wagon on one end, my brother on the other and you can hear my mom say "Say thank you to your Auntie Maureen!" and my little voice says "Tank ou Auntie Mooreen!" But there were still many other things I could not do that a four year old should do. I still had the tantrums, I still cried for hours when I could not understand something and I even laughed instead of feel remorse when my mom was angry with me. Don't ask why I giggled at the sight of an angry face- I guess I just could not help it! I still giggle sometimes now in my adult stage although it is rare now. I also did not know how to let others know when I needed simple things like going to the toilet or asking for help. So my mom brought me in to get evaluated professionally and eventually, I was diagnosed with a form of autism, PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder).
Now, before continuing on, I want to explain a little bit what autism really is and give a little insight to those who may not be familiar. I want to start by saying that having autism does not make me or others who have autism any different than those without. Having autism simply means that I learn differently. My brain works in a different way than other people's brains work. It may take me longer to understand something you may already know, but if you give me time I will know it too. If you give me too much information, I will become overwhelmed. If you break it down in pieces, it will be a lot easier. You may be able to see the whole picture at once but I can only see parts of the picture. I may not always look into your eyes. It is not because I am being rude but because I am uncomfortable to look into people's eyes. I need time for myself, to be alone. Again, I do not mean to be rude at all. I just need space and will get very anxious when there are too many people around me. When I talk, sometimes I may stutter a little and have difficulty explaining something because I haven't completely formed what I want to say in my mind. There are two major types of autism, the high-functioning and the low functioning. People with high-functioning autism are usually more capable of doing things than those with low-functioning and that can be problematic because the society thinks they are able to do anything since it is not as visible per say as low-functioning autism. I am more the high-functioning type and this is why, for me, I can easily hide my autism and also because I worked extremely hard to come to where I'm at today.
From the time I was diagnosed up until now, I would come to work with many people, who would help me with speech, socializing, and everyday life skills in order to reach a developmentally appropriate stage for my age. I have to say that my mom is the one who worked the hardest with me. She never gave up on me and I am so, so grateful for that.
But it was hard, very hard. I did not make many friends. In grade one I would be playing in the sand all by myself. I would say things that would hurt others though it was never my intention. In grade 3, my mom finally saw just how much I struggled with my education and with friends and the following year, I switched school. Just like my previous school, this school was a small, french public school named Jeanne-Lajoie. It instantly became my most favorite place in the whole wide world. And there, I blossomed.
I think I will stop here for now. I have a lot to say in this post but will continue on next week in part 2. On this note I want to say goodnight to everyone, enjoy the weekend and as always, thank you for reading! Until next time!
-Autism logo
In today's blog post, I will talk about a challenge I have had to face in life. Some people call it a disease or an illness but it is in fact, neither, and so that is why I like calling it a challenge. This is something that I have not been the most comfortable sharing with the public. I have kept silent about it during my school years, elementary, high school and college, at dance and even now, at work. But now, I want to become an advocate for this, especially since I have had a best friend who had it and also, now that I am working with a child who is showing signs of having this particular challenge.
This particular challenge I have had to live with is autism. If you have seen my blog post titled "A little about me" you might remember that I mentioned I was diagnosed with autism at an early age and that I would talk more in depth about it later on. Well, I think the time to open up about it is now, and so I will wait no longer.
When I first arrived at my new home in Canada with my new family, my mom noticed something very different about me. She tells me stories of how I would not understand what she wanted from me, I had difficulty showing the right emotions at the right time and I would often throw myself to the ground in a tantrum for the simplest things asked of me and cry for what seemed an endless amount of time. I did not talk at all the first few months. At first, my parents thought I just needed time to settle in and that I would learn to adjust sooner or later on my own. Everything was new to me after all! The country, the household, the people and the environment. I was only a toddler, but I think I was probably quite overwhelmed with all these changes and understandably so. Who would not be after having to leave the family with whom you first grew up with?
Eventually, I did start to settle now and started talking, to my parents delight, around the age of four which was earlier than they expected. In a home video of when my brother and I were little, it is Christmas day and I am sitting in a green wagon on one end, my brother on the other and you can hear my mom say "Say thank you to your Auntie Maureen!" and my little voice says "Tank ou Auntie Mooreen!" But there were still many other things I could not do that a four year old should do. I still had the tantrums, I still cried for hours when I could not understand something and I even laughed instead of feel remorse when my mom was angry with me. Don't ask why I giggled at the sight of an angry face- I guess I just could not help it! I still giggle sometimes now in my adult stage although it is rare now. I also did not know how to let others know when I needed simple things like going to the toilet or asking for help. So my mom brought me in to get evaluated professionally and eventually, I was diagnosed with a form of autism, PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder).
Now, before continuing on, I want to explain a little bit what autism really is and give a little insight to those who may not be familiar. I want to start by saying that having autism does not make me or others who have autism any different than those without. Having autism simply means that I learn differently. My brain works in a different way than other people's brains work. It may take me longer to understand something you may already know, but if you give me time I will know it too. If you give me too much information, I will become overwhelmed. If you break it down in pieces, it will be a lot easier. You may be able to see the whole picture at once but I can only see parts of the picture. I may not always look into your eyes. It is not because I am being rude but because I am uncomfortable to look into people's eyes. I need time for myself, to be alone. Again, I do not mean to be rude at all. I just need space and will get very anxious when there are too many people around me. When I talk, sometimes I may stutter a little and have difficulty explaining something because I haven't completely formed what I want to say in my mind. There are two major types of autism, the high-functioning and the low functioning. People with high-functioning autism are usually more capable of doing things than those with low-functioning and that can be problematic because the society thinks they are able to do anything since it is not as visible per say as low-functioning autism. I am more the high-functioning type and this is why, for me, I can easily hide my autism and also because I worked extremely hard to come to where I'm at today.
From the time I was diagnosed up until now, I would come to work with many people, who would help me with speech, socializing, and everyday life skills in order to reach a developmentally appropriate stage for my age. I have to say that my mom is the one who worked the hardest with me. She never gave up on me and I am so, so grateful for that.
But it was hard, very hard. I did not make many friends. In grade one I would be playing in the sand all by myself. I would say things that would hurt others though it was never my intention. In grade 3, my mom finally saw just how much I struggled with my education and with friends and the following year, I switched school. Just like my previous school, this school was a small, french public school named Jeanne-Lajoie. It instantly became my most favorite place in the whole wide world. And there, I blossomed.
I think I will stop here for now. I have a lot to say in this post but will continue on next week in part 2. On this note I want to say goodnight to everyone, enjoy the weekend and as always, thank you for reading! Until next time!
-Autism logo
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